All is going well today. Work is going by pretty quick. Nobody famous has died…which is weird. The medication that doctor prescribed me is working great on the crabs situation. And Sam Amick comes out of vacation to inform us all that the Kings aren’t really looking to bring in Hedo Turkoglu.
Really, the only thing that would make today better would be Beno Udrih found at a Canadian brothel with a hot cow poker loged into his anal cavity.
Blumpkin.

Every so often here at A Royal Pain, we’ll be pitting current and ex members of the Sacramento Kings against each other in a crazy, over the top, waste of time poll.
Today’s contestant’s?
Ron “I ate ostrich testicles in Africa” Artest vs. Scot “You look like a lesbo Cheryl Miller” Pollard
Who would survive better in prison?
Make sure to comment below with your reasons.

Today the good folks at NBAtipoff interviewed me about the Sacramento Kings off-season because I apparently am an all knowing god-like creature of epic awesomeness with a large penis.
Well, they didn’t tell me that but that’s what I was lead to believe.
Either, check out the transcript of the interview below and visit NBAtipoff and check out all their other goodies!
Check out the interview HERE.
Or for the ones who are unable to click a link, or as I call them – clickable challenged, here it is below:
1. Looking at your draft review, I see you were one of the guys that [...]

Listen, I’ve got zero problem with Tyreke Evans…none. I think the kid was a stud at Memphis and to do what he did at 19 years of age in that conference was very special. He’s been a protege since he was a kid and I think the Kings got a hell of a player and I’m excited to have him.
That however doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed that we passed on Rubio.
Ricky Rubio would have been the perfect compliment to the Kings current roster even if Tyreke turns out to be the better player of the two….
Zach Harper over at Cowbell [...]

Player
2009-10
2010-11
2011-12
2012-13
2013-2014

Kevin Martin
9,680,170
10,600,005
11,519,840
12,439,675

Kenny Thomas
8,775,000

Andres Nocioni
7,500,000
7,000,000
6,500,000
6,000,000

Bobby Jackson

Beno Udrih
6,031,800
6,478,600
6,925,400
7,372,200

Ike Diogu
3,946,875

Rashad McCants
3,644,595

Spencer Hawes
2,332,800
2,974,320
4,051,024

Francisco Garcia
5,800,000
5,500,000
5,800,000
6,100,000
6,400,000

Jason Thompson
2,035,920
2,178,000
3,001,284
4,129,767

Sergio Rodriguez
1,576,696
2,338,240

Donte Greene
870,000
930,700
1,679,914
2,503,071

Tyreke Evans
3,008,400
3,234,100
3,459,700
4,376,521
5,772,631

Omri Casspi
972,500
1,045,400
1,118,300
1,897,755
2,761,234

Jon Brockman

Mikki Moore (waived)
2,000,000

Total
50,583,286

Yellow – BYC Player
Orange – Not Fully Guaranteed
Blue – Player Option
Gray – Team Option
Green – Qualifying Offer

Special Notes:

Mikki Moore’s 2009-10 is partially guaranteed for $2,000,000. He was waived on February 19th, 2009. He was picked up by the Boston Celtics which means the Kings will add his $2,000,000 onto their cap the 2009-2010 season.
All rookie contracts are based on the rookie salary scale. Jon Brockman not included due to possability of not making team out of training camp.
Only guaranteed contracts are reflected into the [...]

King James Gospel – Where’s Shaq?
Sir Charles In Charge – Some Amazing Jason Kidd Clips
NuggLove – Ty Lawson Fits Great With The Nuggets
Pippin Aint Easy – How Did Dejuan Blair Slip So Far?
HowardTheDunk – Vince Who? It’s All About Ryan Anderson
Buckets Over Broadway – Donnie Walsh Is Overrated
Raptors Rapture – DeMar Is Going With #10
Lake Show Life – Is Shaq “The Big Cleveland Steamer”?
Air Alamo – And The Spurs Win Another Draft

Yesterday evening, the Sacramento Kings introduced their three new draft picks to a large crowd in Downtown Sacramento. Though, I’m not sure if all three of the guys were King draft picks, cause John Brockman looks like he should be playing for the 49ers…
Holy crap the man is massive.
And was it me, or was Tyreke Evans getting that chicks number?
Summer League in Vegas starts in two weeks – Go Kings!

KingsTV pre-game host and overall network babe Kayte Christensen took part in the draft festivities this week in New York and decided to visit New York the old fashioned way – in a double decker bus.
Kayte makes her way through Times Square, Central Park, Harlem, and even finds time to pick up an uniquely named ice cream.
Some place in there, there’s a joke about a “King cone”…

As soon as the Minnesota Timberwolves drafted point guard Johnny Flynn last night, all hell broke loose. Rubio nor his camp was thrilled at the selection, and made sure to let everybody know. Rubio himself said he’s not sure if he’ll be playing in the NBA this year and his father has stated that he will be returning to Europe to play basketball this season and maybe longer. Rubio’s agent Dan Fegan has not commented yet, but he made it well known he did not want Rubio playing in Minnesota. And if you remember correctly, Fegan is the agent of [...]

Overview:
Kings select Tyreke Evans out of Memphis with the fourth selection.
Kings select Omar Casspi out of Israel with the twenty-third selection.
Kings trade the 31st selection to the Portland Trailblazers in exchange for point guard Sergio Rodriguez and the 38th selection.
Kings select Jon Brockman out of Washington with the thirty-eighth selection.
Media:
1 on 1 with Tyreke Evans via KingsFlix.com

Gavin Maloof talking about the Kings selection:

Tyreke Evans highlights:

Geoff Petrie on the Kings selection:

Quotes:
Geoff Petrie on Tyreke Evans –
“We think he’s a great, great prospect and has a chance to develop into a real star. He was the best freshman in the country [...]