A Royal Pain
Fansided

Boogie’s Dream Team or DeMarcus Cousins’ Keystone Cops?

By Michael Aloysius O'Reilly

Mar 16, 2016; Sacramento, CA, USA; Sacramento Kings center DeMarcus Cousins (15) looks on during the second quarter of the game against the New Orleans Pelicans at Sleep Train Arena. Mandatory Credit: Ed Szczepanski-USA TODAY Sports
Mar 16, 2016; Sacramento, CA, USA; Sacramento Kings center DeMarcus Cousins (15) looks on during the second quarter of the game against the New Orleans Pelicans at Sleep Train Arena. Mandatory Credit: Ed Szczepanski-USA TODAY Sports /
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Which Sacramento Kings team will we see this year?

An exciting talented bunch led by DeMarcus Cousins grabbing the 8th playoff spot? Or the bad news Kings retaining the butt of NBA jokes as the talented guys sadly saddled with the “Great Micromanager” for an owner, Vivek Ranadive? Dream Team or Nightmare? What is your vision?

Here’s the Dream Season

Before tipoff, Boogie goes to each referee and tells him he’s the best ref in all of basketball. Then Boogie picks up not a single technical for the entire season, averages 28 points per game, 14 rebounds, and shoots 40% from beyond the arc. Omri Casspi edges past both Curry brothers for tops in the NBA’s 3-point shooting at a 46.7% clip beyond the arc. Skal Labissiere finds out he is the team’s second-best small forward (behind Gay) and shoots 40% from the perimeter. Malachi Richardson then shoots 45% from the field behind Afflalo’s dead-eye 39% 3-point percentage. As a result, Dave Joerger is named Coach of the Year, Labissiere is named ROY, and Boogie is the MVP.

Here’s the Nightmare Season

Boogie’s feet ache and he’s still the last man back on offense. He gets T’d up for the 17th time in February and then comes down with tendonitis in his shooting hand. Matt Barnes gets in a fist fight with Mayor Kevin Johnson over beer prices at Golden 1 and Commissioner Silver suspends him for life. Barnes is quoted as saying: “How many more years did I have left in the tank anyway?” Ben McLemore, playing for the Shanghai Sharks, knocks down 40 points a game while Seth Curry averages 22 points for the Dallas Mavericks and is named the NBA’s Most Improved Player. Rudy Gay is put on waivers for the annoying habit of asking far too many times to be traded. Even the new arena turns out to be a wreck. Part of the new Golden 1 Center roof collapses, the arena shuts down indefinitely, and the team finishes the year—in last place—at the old Arco Arena (because Sleep Train won’t lend its name anymore).

Next: Kings' Rookies Get Their First Dose of Hazing

The front office turns to shambles.  Vivek Randadive is mandated by the NBA league office return to coaching children’s basketball and told to stay away from the Kings front office for 5 years. Finally, Vlade Divac resigned the GM post following his election as president of Serbia.

What’s your read: Dream or Nightmare?

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