Hey! You! Yea You! Guess What? Kings Suck!!
By Bryan Rose
The good guys over at Ball Don’t Lie proclaim last years team to be one of the worst of the past 10 years. The 5th worst, actually. And as painful as it is to say, I have to agree.
"5. 2008-09 Sacramento KingsLittle sticks out about this team other than the fact it ranked 30th in defensive efficiency in 2008-09, and 25th in offense. That’s … that’s hard to do. That’s pretty bad. Throw in an off year from Kevin Martin(notes), iffy crowd support, and some pretty uninspiring games (awful teams can often be entertaining teams; not these Kings), and you have a 17-win team that lost by an average of 8.7 points per game."
But alas! That was last year!! It’s a new year. A new day! I’ve got new underroo’s on that don’t have skidmarks. And I was just checking out the ESPN season forcast and they’ve got the Kings placed at…here, let me look…15…18…22…25…28…30!? 30th!?!?!?!?!? ESPN, along with every other media outlet tells me we’re the worst team in basketball, and not only the worst…the worst by far.
"The Kings take the honors as the NBA’s worst team, both in last season’s standings and this season’s projections. Reasons for optimism include a return to health for Kevin Martin and the arrival of Tyreke Evans, but even that is a bit troubling, as they might end up playing the same position. Expect another long year in Sac-Town."
That’s sorta like kicking one in the balls then opening their mouth while they’re on the ground and farting in it. Not that I’ve ever experienced that, cept for this one time at band camp.