Timberwolves Donkey Punch Kings. A Lot.

Two words come to mind tonight. Micheal Beasley. Actually, two other words come to mind more than that. Fucking embarrassment. Yeah, that seems more appropriate.

The juggernaut one victory Timberwolves came into Arco tonight and absolutely wiped the floor with the Kings. Actually, it’s wrong of me to even give the Timberwolves team credit. As a whole, they were pretty shitty. It was Micheal Beasley and Sebastian Telfair with little other assistance. You know, that pot smoking tweener who couldn’t be given away this past off-season and Telfair, who I’m not even sure deserves to be a rotation player in the NBA. Yep, them. Both players just anally pillaged the Kings, while the purple and black bent over the couch and took it….and judging by their response, probably enjoyed it.

Beasley torched the Kings for 42 points. Yes, you read that correctly. 42 fucking points. 4. 2. The Kings, as a collective unit, scored 89. Fun with numbers! I knew my time spent in 7th grade math would come back to help me at some point.

Other than looking like a real life version of a My Little Pony (I mean really, what the fuck was on his head?), Beasley could do no wrong. Hell, he’s probably snuck over to my girlfriends house as I sit here, writing about this ass rape, and is most likely pleasuring her better than I ever could.

I’m not really sure how you recap trash like this. The Kings look absolutely horrific. I’m not overacting – it’s just fact. They look like shit. Crap. Dog pooh. Ron Artest’s fadeaway. Peja’s chest hair. You name it, they look worse.

When Beasley wasn’t ramming it in the Kings collective vagina, they were hoping a free ride on the choo-choo train to regression. With 19 turnovers and shooting 62% from the line, the Kings continued to dump in their basketball diapers; something we’ve seen way too often already this year. I mean listen, losing happens. And as long as you give your full effort, fans wont get their ass chapped and wins will eventually happen. But this brand of basketball is simply unacceptable. You can’t put it any other way.

Watching the Lakers/Timberwolves game last night, I saw a T’Wolves team who was over-matched, undermanned, out-coached, and had fear in their eyes when the Lakers were putting the pressure on. Tonight, I saw a T’Wolves team void of any fear – a team who expected to beat the Kings. That said so much. Not that the Kings should even be compared to the Lakers, in any sense, but the Wolves clearly felt they could beat the Kings….and obviously, why shouldn’t they have?

But let’s put the horrible game behind us for a second. The Kings are 3-4. That’s the good. I guess. The bad? The Kings have played (sans the LA game)….

@Minnesota

@Cleveland

@New Jersey

Toronto

Memphis

Minnesota

Minnesota is quite possibly is the worst team in the league, and currently undermanned. Cleveland isn’t far behind. New Jersey is right there as well. Toronto could challenge all of them. Memphis, while decent, is a borderline playoff team on a good day. And other than the most recent game versus Minnesota, the Kings have fallen behind double digits in 5 of 6. And this has happened against quite possibly the four worst teams in the NBA. Problem?

Will they turn this around? Yes. Probably. I hope. Fucking jesus, please! I beg you!!! Are they the potential 35 win team so many of us thought?

Fuck yeah they are. How dare you be a pessimistic bastard!! That’s against the rules!

Now if you hold on, I’ve got to get my cookies out for Santa. I like the be early. And if you don’t get that joke, well, it wasn’t that funny to begin with. But at least it wasn’t as shitty as the Kings. OH !!I!! RIM SHOTZ!

Topics: Recap

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  • Nakji San

    You are my hero.

  • Bryan

    Would you like my autograph?

  • http://www.kingsgab.com Greg

    Thank you for this therapeutic read. Someone tell the kings to get the dick out of their *** and get there s*** together….these types of losses our UNACCEPTABLE… I would have just clubbed Beasley.

  • Pingback: The First Step to Recovery » Kings Gab

  • grem

    I found this to be a very comical article. If it is any comfort, I can assure you that the Wolves are not the worst team in the league, and I fully expect 30 wins out of them. But yeah kinda sad Beasley took a dump on the defense.