Battle Of The Stinkbombs, More Stinky Defeated. Sorta. Ish.

There were some pretty impressive moments for the Kings tonight.  There were moments that made you sit back in glee, just imagining what this unit will be able to do in two years. There were moments that could have brought your basketball boner to a climax at the mere picture of what this squad will be able accomplish in mere months. With that said, the Kings had their struggles for a large part of the game, especially early. Example numbero uno? Falling behind a shitty young Nets team by 18. That isn’t the most delicious basketball dish I’ve ever had. In fact, it sucked.

Resilient as they are, the Kings came back and eventually lead by 8 with just over three minutes left in the game thanks to a Nets laden turnover fest that would make 49ers banished quarterback Alex Smith blush. The Nets strung together 26 turnovers tonight – yes, you read that correctly. 2. 6. But thanks to a few big triples by Net guards and some unlucky bounces for the purple and black, they closed out the Kings on a 14-3 run to end the game, sending the Kings to Cleveland with a 1-1 record after two contests.

Tyreke Evans and Samuel Dalembert both made their season debuts, although Dalembert’s was severely limited by the Kings medical staff as he only logged 6+ minutes. He was relatively ineffective, but given his lack of any floor time lately expectations had to be tempered. As for Evans, he had a typical Tyreke night. The stat sheet was filled…he made some big time baskets and certainly had a few poster moments, none more than the Michael Jordan-esque reverse layup through a triple team. Jaw dropping at it’s finest.

Star of the game though has to be Francisco Garcia who impressed again for the second consecutive game. Frankly, you have no idea how thankful I am that Cisco is a fan of compression shorts under his gamers. That man must have nuts that touch the floor. Seriously, I’m pretty sure Chuck Norris pisses his Wrangler’s at the mere mention of Garcia. Hell,  give Garcia a brunette wig and some double d’s and I’m pretty sure Brett Favre would be texting our favorite Dominican. And yes, you are most welcome for that mental image. You’re beyond lucky I didn’t charge you. Sure glad to see Garcia back.

On the rookie report, DCuz was again hampered by foul trouble – something we’ll come to expect nightly for a while. Cousins biggest problem at the moment seems to be his arm positioning. He’s having trouble keeping them straight and defenders are abusing it like a blonde on a porn set. Whiteside was listed as inactive, so, yeah. No report on him other than how small the Gatorade cup looks next to his 9 foot arms. It’s like a real life photoshop.

Odd moment of the night might have been Omri Casspi drawing the start over Donte Greene, who just recently was “promoted”, if you will, to the starting small forward spot. Not sure if Westphal was already unhappy with Greene’s poor opening game performance or if there was something more to it. Either way, if you took the under on the Casspi/Greene matchup battle, good job. You win the luxury of being in my written presence. I’d let you be in my presence, but, well, the restraining order prevents any contact and the judge has “issues” with that. Whatever THAT means.

Kings have a short turnaround this evening as they hop a plane to Ohio where they’ll take on Lebron and compan..oh fuck. Um, they’ll take on, uh, shit – who’s on that team?

*scans through media guide*

A boobie? Really? There’s a boobie on that team?!!?!?!

I kid. I kid. I know it’s Boobie Gibson. The only real female anatomy on the Cavs is a vagina Antawn Jamison. My ankle, my ankle…wahhhhh.

You know, that would have been funnier if I typed it in Comic Sans, right? Sup, Dan.