/Welcome Back, Kotter theme music plays…
Alas, I’m back at A Royal Pain. I know you missed me. Frankly, how couldn’t you have? I’m an enigma. A pharaoh like creature. My unexpected departure wasn’t announced, but when you’re traveling the world as an international man of mystery, well, sometimes you just can’t announce when you’re dropping out of B-52’s (not Brad Miller’s), shooting suspected terrorists with my bullet equipped time piece, or better yet, making sweet passionate love to sea lions while stranded on an ice berg in the middle of Antarctica showering uncivilized colonies with passionate rainbows of joy at my mere presence.
For now, I bid them adieu and return to my throne at A Royal Pain, just in time to watch the Kings open their preseason tomorrow evening versus the Phoenix Suns. Of course, Comcast (empowered by Lucifer himself, obviously) wont be broadcasting the preseason, so you’ll have to stick to shitty interweb streams to get your fix. Or pay the NBA more of your hard earned money when you know it could be spent on better things, like, um, donkey shows? I, being the international man of mystery that I am, will simply throw on my fancy glasses and have the picture projected off of the moon, because, well – I can.
Mmm, basketball. Tastes good. How I’ve missed you so…..
And frankly, while I do enjoy me a nice big bowl of basketball, I love it much more when its not topped with a couple sprinkles of Andres Nocioni and a dabble of Spencer Hawes. A side of Jon Brockman is missing, but, oh well. I’ve got a big ass bottle of DCuz to drown my sorrows in.
Wait, who put some Jim Gray in my basketball!? WAITER!!!!!!!!!!!
Suns and Kings tip off tomorrow evening at 7:30 pacific. Eat your Wheaties.